I've hit restaurant row and I'm circling the parking lot but I am not sure that I'm even hungry. I get so easily distracted. I have forgotten the desperate starvation I felt just a few weeks ago and as soon as I got a whiff of what's on the menu, I got finicky, turning my nose up at the very same meal I was willing to work hard to get. I guess all I really want is a smell in my nostrils and a taste in my mouth to keep me occupied; a morsel to chew on without the hassle of including meaning on the menu.
I am studying for qualifying exams so I have temporarily left Merton; but I keep him on my night table as a reminder each night before I go to bed that I may be distracted by not satisfied. It's just a rest stop on the journey. As faithful, he never allows me to sleep soundly but I don't want soundly anyway, I want deeply in sleep as well as in waking.
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Insights from the Abyss
Some context on the content
Reexamining my need for certainity and purpose, revisiting a past faith while trying to determine if I am running from it or towards it.
Books that may have changed my life, for better or worse
- The Cost of Discipleship by Bohhoeffer
- Geneology of Morals by Nietzsche
- Romans by St. Paul
- Nausea by Sartre
- Fear and Trembling by Kierkegaard
- A Portrait of Dorian Grey by Wilde
- Mystics and Zen Masters by Merton
- Flew, Hare, Mitchell Debate
- The Courage To Be by Tillich
- Mere Christianity by Lewis