I've hit restaurant row and I'm circling the parking lot but I am not sure that I'm even hungry. I get so easily distracted. I have forgotten the desperate starvation I felt just a few weeks ago and as soon as I got a whiff of what's on the menu, I got finicky, turning my nose up at the very same meal I was willing to work hard to get. I guess all I really want is a smell in my nostrils and a taste in my mouth to keep me occupied; a morsel to chew on without the hassle of including meaning on the menu.
I am studying for qualifying exams so I have temporarily left Merton; but I keep him on my night table as a reminder each night before I go to bed that I may be distracted by not satisfied. It's just a rest stop on the journey. As faithful, he never allows me to sleep soundly but I don't want soundly anyway, I want deeply in sleep as well as in waking.